'Me Time' Deepens & Strengthens Relationships | The Love Grenade
Believe it or not, part of having a truly healthy relationship involves having alone time, too. If your partner wants some “me time,” you need to. The healthiest relationships are those in which each person takes time to be alone and cultivate "me" time. Communicate to your partner how. It really depends on the person. Some require a lot of independent time apart from their partner while others want to be with their partner at all.
He could mentally calculate complex numerical algorithms quickly and easily.
A talent which was well paid,in fact it enabled him to fund his university studies and living expenses. He loved the mental challenge of working out the algorithms and complex maths that set the odds on bets as much as he appreciated the athleticism of the sport. Having finished his university studies and gained a respectable career in finance his love for the sport did not diminish.
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The races were now as much about business as pleasure. He had several clients who also enjoyed race days. So he liked to go off once a month for the whole day, catch up with his mates and compare notes on both the horses and current business affairs.
He and his friends would lunch together, chat about the state of the economy and compete on their ability to pick the winners of the day. Some wives joined their husbands, most did not.
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He knew that I supported his going…but that I was not in love with the idea of spending a whole day at the races — despite the wonderful food on offer… I would attend if he really wanted me to or if it were appropriate for me to show for business reasons … but if not… I was happy for him to play on his own. And so was he. The agreement was that I was advised ahead of time of the dates, so that no conflicting commitments were made. Cognizant of how important these days were to him I made sure that that time was kept free for him.
And I can tell you that in my commitment to support him and to give him time to pursue his love of racing I was well rewarded! Each race day he would arrive home around 4pm — full of bounce. Beaming about the day! Full of stories and catch ups! He was as excited as any 8 year old! And the following day he just wanted to please and pamper me! Freedom Reaps Rewards The benefits…? By you giving your partner the freedom to pursue an interest on their own you are unconsciously giving them permission to get in touch with themselves… And when they do the same for you, you are both rewarded.
Emily usually goes skiing on her own or with a friend. Jeff typically goes to ball games alone or with a friend. Once in a while, she goes to a baseball game with Jeff.
They are comfortable with each pursuing separate interests individually. Both their separate self-nurturing activities and their time together contribute to their fulfilling, long-lasting marriage. Making Dates with Your Spouse — and Yourself You may have heard that a weekly date with your partner fosters a good relationship. Do you also make sure to enjoy self-nurturing activities individually? By overdoing togetherness, you can lose touch with your essential self, like Emily did long ago.
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When this happens, you might sense something amiss in your relationship, such as the absence of romance and fun.
You might feel discouraged or blame your partner. But if you fail to try to correct the situation, you risk ending up with a serious case of soul neglect. This malady can appear in the form of depressionresentment, anxietyanger, loss of interest in sex, or thoughts of divorce; or as an addiction, such as alcoholismsubstance abuse, or overeating.
Ongoing self-care promotes growth and vitality. When you sparkle with aliveness, you bring excitement into your relationships, especially your marital one.
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In such places ideas emerge for creative ways to address challenges a person may be experiencing, in any aspect of life, including in marriage. Many mothers feel guilty about taking time out for themselves.Relationship expert: Needing space is not a bad thing
So at least sometimes, feel the guilt and do it anyway! If you are already balancing self-care with together time, congratulations! Then start doing at least one a week. If applicable, encourage your partner to do the same.