Stop being insecure in my relationship

5 Ways to Stop Feeling Insecure in Your Relationships

stop being insecure in my relationship

Feeling insecure in a relationship can be awful. Although there are some relationship insecurities that are totally normal, others can make you. While small insecurities are natural, bigger worries that call into question the trust you have with your partner could be detrimental to a. Chronic insecurity is toxic to your relationships. You can learn to stop the sinking feeling of insecurity and regain your sense of well-being.

stop being insecure in my relationship

Try to talk when things are going well, not badly. Bringing things up in the middle of an argument is only likely to create more conflict.

I feel insecure in my relationship | Relate

Say how you feel, not how you think they make you feel. Even if what your partner has to say is difficult to hear, try to stick with it. A conversation has to go both ways for it to work. Try to start by acknowledging their perspective may be different to yours. You could even plan. It might sound a little clinical, but it can be useful to think beforehand about what you want to say.

Come back to it. These things are rarely solved in one chat. After a while, this kind of conversation will seem much less scary! What they found is that the most common self-critical thought people have toward themselves is that they are different — not in a positive sense, but in some negative, alienating way.

stop being insecure in my relationship

Whether our self-esteem is high or low, one thing is clear; we are a generation that compares, evaluates and judges ourselves with great scrutiny. By understanding where this insecurity comes from, why we are driven to put ourselves down and how this viewpoint affects us, we can start to challenge and overcome the destructive inner critic that limits our lives. Why am I so insecure? There is an internal dialogue that accompanies our feelings of insecurity. As we grow up, we unconsciously adopt and integrate this pattern of destructive thoughts toward ourselves and others.

The experiences we have with our influential early caretakers can be at the root of our insecurity as adults. Imagine a child being yelled at by a parent. Is he going to finish with me? Has he met someone else? If I don't know exactly where he is I get suspicious. He constantly has to reassure me. What can I do? Insecurity drives people to become too 'clingy' or needy and this creates problems.

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Feeling insecure in a relationship is natural up to a point, at least until the relationship "settles". Let's look at this in more depth: A security issue When we enter an intimate relationship we can feel very emotionally vulnerable; especially if we have felt let down or hurt in previous relationships.

Will they reject me?

5 Ways to Stop Feeling Insecure in Your Relationships

Have I done something to upset them? This is just too good to last! These are the typical thoughts and feelings of the chronically insecure partner. Being insecure is a whole lot of hard work. So what does it involve? Seeing problems where none exist When we become anxious about anything, we start looking for signs of things 'going wrong' nervous flyers look out for signs that the aircraft is in trouble.

And, of course, we usually find what we're looking for, even if it isn't really there at all. We perform constant monitoring: Why did they say that? Who's this other person they've mentioned?

stop being insecure in my relationship

Should I feel threatened? Are they less attentive?

stop being insecure in my relationship

Why did they pause after I suggested we meet up? Emma said she had often felt inadequate and "not good enough" to be with her current partner.

She couldn't possibly understand what he could see in her. She also told me she had ended many previous relationships because of her insecurity.

But we all need the comforts and support that intimacy can bring us. So what can you do if insecurity is blighting your relationships?

Overcoming Insecurity in Relationships

The insecure flyer will hear the normal mechanism of the air conditioning and twist it within their imagination to signify impending doom via crash and burn. They'll imagine the bored look on an air steward's face to be barely concealed terror because, "He must know something we don't! They scare themselves by assuming what they imagine represents reality.