New Status Update - In a Pseudo Relationship
As far as I'm concerned, there are two types of pseudo-relationships you can be in that aren't real, bonafide relationships: You're either. Being in a pseudo relationship means that you're in a relationship but not a real one. I'm a Dating Senior Writer at Independent Femme. One doesn't have to pay for everything on a pseudodate, but if picking up the tab can be pulled off then it could mean real dates lie in one's future.
Here are 6 reasons why: It usually ends with a very awkward pseudo-break-up. I was dating this actor once my first mistakeand thought we were on the road to getting serious. We had been seeing one another for several months, and in my head, all signs were pointing towards us one day owning monogrammed towels.
After awhile, and at his request, I came to one of his shows — a show in which one of his props was a large cardboard cutout…of himself.
Once the show ended, I patiently waited for him in the lobby. Another guy approached me, and struck up casual conversation. Apparently pseudo-boyfriend thought this was a no-no, because when he arrived holding his cardboard twinhe was pissed. In the middle of Gramercy, in the rain and with multiple onlookers, I was broken up with by a stunted actor and his fucking cardboard face.
To say I was mortified is probably an understatement. Your friends are afraid to be honest with you. Help them, and help yourself. You and your friends have better things to talk about. You lose your ability to accept reality. It was absolutely going to be a problem.
We proceeded to hang out for months after that, leaving me to mistakenly believe that his original admission was just erroneous — like what a kidder, that guy — but, no. He was as serious as Ann Coulter talking about Clinton.
She goes to her friends to shares these things. She goes to important influences in her life to discuss how she feels like it is so soon in the relationship and he is speaking of things months out. She is not even certain she is ready to be in committed long-term relationship. He asked her to coffee. He is kind and she has always thought he was nice, but he was not on her radar for dating at all and now he is moving so fast.
Those important people around her said to accept his date. It's just a few dates. You have to spend a little time alone to see if you even like him. She explains that together they have lots of friends, but she never really got to know him apart from the group so she was willing to accept a coffee date. He was kind, a complete gentleman, so she accepted another date.
She is a sweetheart. She would never play with his heart and the innocence in getting to know him is sending him mixed messages. How can this be?
Embracing Life's Journey: Pseudo Dating
She realizes she is not ready for what he is offering and ends it quickly. It was only a few weeks. It is not like they were getting married. What is going on here is simply this. After years of conversations around dating, doing that dance on dating and hearing the hearts of both women and men, young and old I have come to some concrete conclusive evidence.
Allow me to digress. Last night with men and women my own age amazing I do have friend my own age, who knew? We talked about this very thing.
6 Reasons You Shouldn’t Settle For A Pseudo-Relationship
A middle age man not married blushed when I laid out my observations. He said, "oh gosh this is exactly how it is! I am going to call this Pseudo Dating. I am sure there is some dating book that has already written about this very thing, but for some reason it's not getting read, because over and over I hear the heaviness of a relationship that ended to soon.
Is that to soon. First I think it is a gift to every man and woman out there when it's ended early, in that you have not invested so much to have it come later when the stakes are higher.
But I digress again. What is Pseudo Dating? The definition I shall give is this: In the scenario I painted above. This young man had Pseudo Dated this young woman for the better part of months. I have see Pseudo Dating that has lasted almost a year. So when that first date is set up, the Pseudo Dater has already invested so much of his or heart into her. He has plans, big dreams with her, and shortly into dating her begins to share these plans and dreams.
For the sake of clarity I will stick to the couple above. He had been Pseudo Dating her.
He was not on her radar at all, other than a friend from their group of friends. She started the thought process of dating him, the first time he asked her out. He had weeks and then months invested in her with his heart. In his mind and process that relationship was well into it's 3rd or even 4th month.
He already knows she is an early riser, he knows she likes her coffee a certain way, he knows she loves to take long walks, and wander in and out of shops. She knows nothing of him and is actually quite shy about asking all the important questions until she thinks she might even want to date him. He comes away a bit confused. Questioning her, and wondering why? His heart is now confused and he lacks clarity in what is going on. They were not close, he was close to her. She just did not know it.
His heart begins to sink and she does in fact break up. After years of watching and listening I realized last night that I just could not sit dormant with this information.
I drove back from Seattle with my oldest son in the front seat. These kinds of topics roll in and out of my ears. He wants to know how long he should wait, or what is the appropriate time to ask a girl out. I laughed and asked if he had girl in mind.