How to Have “The Talk” to Define Your Relationship
INSIDER asked relationship therapists, counselors and all-around experts just what you need to do when having the "what are we?" talk. The DTR talk is the "Define The Relationship" talk. It's when you and your significant other figure out whether or not you're exclusively dating. Having “The Talk” is a pretty serious step in any relationship. In fact, it may just be the end of the relationship if you're not on the same page. So how do you.
Obviously, there are a few I neglected to list, but as a teenager, one will probably not encounter anything other than the initial categories. I and many others like me have learned the hard way that no matter how difficult, conversing in any of these relationships is critical for the following reasons.
Let's go over some communication that should happen when you're in these types of relationships. The Budding Romance Conversation Going about having a good discussion in a budding romance is probably one of the most important things when it comes to emotional safety.
Conversations for DTR (Defining the Relationship) | Break the Cycle
The best way to avoid this confusion with a new partner is to just ask. You should not procrastinate and get sucked into the black hole of conspiracy theories your mind will concoct to silently and emotionally traumatize yourself. Showing some leadership and courage is never a bad thing, as long as the questions you want to ask your partner are not too prying.
While having this type of discussion could make for an awkward moment, it is better to know than not to know. People tend to assume when you ask or announce something important over text, it is because you are immature or scared to do it face to face.
When you're actually having the conversation, compare what the two of you want, and if you are both compatible.
If your partner wants something that is completely different than what you want in a relationship, then it may not be right to continue pursuing this person. If you and your budding romance partner are not on the same page and need to break uptexting can be the easiest way to go about it; however, it usually reflects quite poorly on you because in my experience, when someone is dumped over text, they show all of their friends.
A phone call is a step up from texting, but in-person is the bravest and most effective strategy.
Relationship experts reveal the 5 things you should do when defining the relationship
Whatever you do, talk to your budding romance partner about it directly, and instead of tracking information about your partner through a friend. This usually results in miscommunication and could possibly push your partner away. Asking what your partner is thinking is one thing, but the labels talk has made an individual name for itself. Holding off on this talk is important in order to give your partner a small amount of time to figure out for themselves what it is they want from the relationship.
When it does come down to this conversation, be casual and simply inquire how you and your partner want to be referring to your relationship.
The Friends With Benefits Conversation Moving on, let's talk about a quite popular kind of relationship amongst the post-millennials is friends with benefits. This can be one of the most confusing relationships when starting out.
I know many teens who will end up flirting with a someone, and the person they are interested in will ask to be just friends If you have feelings for the person, this request can feel like a rejection; but if you only have a physical attraction, this might be a relationship you'd be into. When asking someone to be friends with benefits, you should be extremely clear about what it is you want. It can often be confused as asking someone out on a date, and that is where everything can get messy.
Another important component of these discussions is to have a talk about privacy in your relationship. People around you can create rather cruel labels for these kinds of relationships, so deciding whether you will keep it on the down-low is a good place to start.
From then on he always felt out of my reach. The terms of the relationship became entirely his to dictate and I anxiously waited for him to pick me, while I tried to prove that I was good enough and worthy of being his girlfriend.
6 Steps to Initiate the DTR (Define the Relationship) Talk
Try not to have it. Relationships work best when you can just live in the moment and let things unfold naturally, without pressure or an agenda.
Give it some time. I would say wait about two to three months before getting into the title talk.
Relationships take time to develop. Every relationship is a unique experience and moves at a different rate. By that point, you should have an idea of where things are headed. Be clear on what you want before you go in.
How to define the relationship, according to relationship experts - Business Insider
In my case, I wanted a committed relationship and instead settled for something that made me feel inadequate and kind of pathetic.
When you recognize and admit what it is you want, you will be better able to move towards it. Remember, you deserve to have the relationship you want and do not need to settle for the scraps someone else is willing to spare. Take a few days or even weeks to get clear on exactly what you want from a relationship. Let this information penetrate your being and embolden you. When you are solid in your convictions you will be able to come from a place of confidence and high self-worth, which ultimately sets the foundation for you to get what it is you want.
I think my story attests to this one pretty well!