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1 Video transcript; 2 Notes; 3 Related merchandise; 4 References . "Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.". Meet the Sniper people left on the planet, someone is gonna want someone dead. When you use Jarate on an enemy, it will make every shot dealt to them by friendly players a mini-crit. . Mini-crits apply to all weapons. This article is about the Administrator in Team Fortress 2. power due to her previous control over every major government on the planet. She tends . With the release of Meet the Director, the Administrator's appearance has.
At first I am agreeing with everyone that this is tactically and morally and sanitarily wrong! But now I see! I have never felt so free! You said it, son! There are no barriers between us and the naked carnage we are committing!
I love you, and I love America! Why don't go fight somewhere less I'll catch you up. Admit it, Sax- You're gonna miss this. You made your point! You get what I'm saying here? We could both live for- [Heavy headbutts TFC Heavy, after which he lifts him up and bashes his back against his knee] Heavy: You killed my friend.
I do not need to live forever.
Just long enought to sit here You might not wanna sit down just yet, big guy Gettin' this thing workin' I wonder where the others are Yes, I was wondering the same thing. Except about your pants. And when you'll be putting some on. It's nothin' but robots and rubble here, mate.
We're not exactly sneakin' through a pants store. I still don't see why you couldn't have stolen pants of the dead man. Y'do know what people do in their pants when they die, right? It would still be preferable. Sniper Pointing at Spy: Give us your coat. I said give us y- Spy Interrupting Sniper: The clot is from silkworms raised at a suit microfarm in Tuscany, from a secret pattern passed down by monk tailors since the seventeenth century.
I will let you use it as an adult diaper See all these robots? Last one got a couple of lucky swings in though.
Does it look bad? It looks good right? Yeah, I'll probably be okay. Man, am I tired by the way. Give us a moment. There's something I need to tell you. Make it quick though. I am real tired for some reason. I'll be right back. Shining light is directed towards Scout Oh hey, a bright light, that's somethin' I could walk toward I knew you'd come, Tom Jones. Do you know my hit song, Sex Bomb? I'm an alive human on earth ain't I?
Check this crap out. It's a Sex Bomb tattoo. Scout, 27 years ago I dropped a "Sex Bomb" on your mother. I was young then, and I ran from the explosion.
But now the fallout of that Sex Bomb has caught up with me. This is where the analogy starts to break down, so if it's alright with you I'll retire the Sex Bomb metaphor now. He sits down next to Scout You're stronger than you'll ever know, Jeremy. I'm proud of you. I've always been proud of you. Scout Just about to pass out: You're in Heaven, dummy! Thank god you're dead! Now we can finally hang out! Holy crap, you guys got a foosball table up here?
Oh, dearest child [God shows 3 foosball tables, and a vending machine to Scout] Scout: Holy crap, Heaven is the best! Scout Talking to himself: This is the most important flex you'll ever do probably.
The ladies back on earth. They've all lain with you, right? Why, were they supposed to? You were my GIFT to them! Geez, that's what I've been saying God: Of all the ungrateful Ooo, that does it.
I am gonna send a Oh, why even be clever? I'm just going to blow up the earth. They're good people at heart. Just a buncha dum-dums tryin' their best. I'll send you back. But I swear, this is their last chance to all have sex with you. Well, you'd better get going. I wish you were my son.
But I already got a dad. And his name is Tom Jones God: But your father isn't- God corrects himself Oh, right.
Tom Jones is your father. Man, I just dropped a Sex Bomb on that steam room! Say, who's up for some foosball? How about you, young fella? You look like- Tom Jones then gets necksnapped by an angel Scout: What was that crackin' noise? We're making popcorn you need to go [God farewells Scout as he leaves Heaven] God: See you in December 4th, !
Should we bury 'im? If you're hiding a Shovel, rinse it off and give it to me. I could use a weapon. There's another wave coming! Lube me up, sweetie! I am going out in a blaze of honey! We cannot fight unlubricated! Then we would just be naked. What else we got? Here are drums of gasoline! Zhanna, you are a genius! Now you can light me on fire!
I will light us both on fire! Oh, you are gonna love it! Our eyes will be the first to boil away! The ears will be the next thing to go. Then they begin to thing about it twice On second thought do not light us on fire. We killed so many robots Miss Pauling is buried under a pile of them.
The Naked and the Dead
I am concerned for her! But also proud of us! Yes, she made a worthy sacrifice. She will be missed. She is clearly still alive. Phone phone phone phone Come on, come on. Where have you been? Well now, I can't say where I am. But I am with her. An' I hate to put a rush on it But I'm gonna need that Australium y'all were lookin' for.
Engie, it's gone, it's Well, it's sort of in space. I'm so sorry Engineer: I'll give her the bad news. Well, she can't come to the phone right now. I'll have her call ya back. Engineer ends the call Miss Pauling: Who is on phone? Zhanna, can I tell you a secret?
Yes, this is fine. She's planning something big She's been planning it her whole life. For a lot of lifetimes, actually.
And I think I screwed it all up. You have broken something. So you will fix it. And we will help. For what I said at back there in the submarine.
You are a part of the team. You are weak woman, but you have strong skull. Miss Pauling, I also want to tell you you a secret. Stay away from my man. I see you watching him. Any woman would want this. What are you gals gabbing about? I am telling Miss Pauling I will kill her if she looks at you again.
For shame, Miss Pauling! You are my boss! You have been undressing me with your eyes since we escaped! My eyes would have to dress you first! Because you have been literally naked the entire time we've been on this island! I have fought naked my whole life. But I have never felt naked until this moment.
For shame, Miss Pauling. For shame Miss Pauling: You idiots Why can't you be Spy, naked Sniper, and Scout arrive I've been looking through your file. You've been a real monster up there. Honestly, you probably would have ended up here anyway. I feel silly that we even bothered with a contract.
I'd say you got the better of us on this one. Still, a deal's a deal, and here you are. I'm sure you'll find the paperwork in order. Now this is interesting. Here in article nine section seven it says the contract is only binding if you own a majority stake in my soul You sold it to us.
Originally, yes, this was the case. But you see, I've since surgically added eight more. Let's put it to a vote: Who thinks I should go to hell?
So that's one vote for hell and eight for Heaven. If you could call me a car There is another option. If you were to send me back to earth, say, for another fifty years You're a clever man.
You tempted me once, after all. I'm sure you'll figure out a way to trick me out of my other eight souls. Medic looks at a pen on the Devil's desk In fact: I said that's a lovely looking pen. Would you give me a soul for this- Medic: See, you're well on your way!
I don't like my chances. At any rate, I should really get going. I'll give ya this For a buncha losers, you guys sure are hard to kill. You are a coward. Could I trouble you for a moment? But I shot- How- Is that a pen? At one point, yes. Now it's a detonator. More of an inductor, really. I'm terrible at naming things. Either way, it induces labor. I think I gave you Three healthy baboon fetuses.
The important thing is when I press this button, they will instantly grow into fully developed baby baboons in your abdomen. On the small end, they're usually about 30 pounds at birth. Although a healthy male can reach up to 80 pounds! And that's without the fertility hormones I've been putting to your rations!
The Naked and the Dead - Official TF2 Wiki | Official Team Fortress Wiki
A-Are you kidding me? Of course I'm kidding you. Is good to have you back, doctor. It is good to be back, my friend. Only you could come up with bluff that insane, doctor. Oh, it was nothing. Any field Medic worth his bone saw is skilled at the art of improvisation. Medic looks into his supply pack Where is Medic has taken a device out of his pack Heavy: The actual baboon pregnancy inductor.
I simply couldn't get to my medical kit in time. The human body can gestate one, maybe two baboons at most. Medic activates the device with a click Anyway. And that's the last of the robots, lads! Look, there's Heavy and Medic! Miss Pauling grabs the remains of the life-extender machine Not this too!
We spent six months huntin' down her best. Team Vanguard, for God's sake. Dad, I'm a- Ye- Not a "crazed gunman", dad, I'm an assassin! Well, the difference bein' one is a job and the other's a mental sickness!
The Sniper now is waiting at the top of the tower for a shot. Several jars of urine fill up to his side, as the Sniper drinks coffee and waits.
As the sun starts to set, the Sniper smiles and finally takes his shot. Look mate, you know who has a lot of feelings? The screen blacks out.
Dad p- yeah - put Mum on the phone! The area seen before the title card appears resembles the one seen in the beginning of Expiration Date. Camping Fun, All year round! The sign that appears at the beginning of the video displays the Sniper Rifle 's old headshot kill icon. The first video in the series released in MayMeet the Heavy, is almost word-for-word what Valve used to cast actor Gary Schwartz.
The video was made on the heels of a Portal video used to promote the personality of that game. After the first short was released, viewers praised both the quality of the animation and the humour of the script, likening it to productions by professional animation studios such as Pixar. Due to this highly positive reception, Valve announced plans to release a Meet the Team video for each individual class in the game, with possible side-features for items and non-player characters such as Meet the Sandvich.
Developer Robin Walker has stated that the shorts "tie in to the strategy we have with TF2 of continually updating the service What the videos do is give ways for people who don't even have Team Fortress 2 yet to get some entertainment from the game. And that may turn them into TF2 players and customers. Game writer Eric Wolpaw said creating the series "helped everyone on the team get a little bit more in tune with who that particular character was, so we just kept knocking them out and they kept on being popular".
An example of the series' influence on the design of the game was the Sandvich. According to Walker, the item "came almost directly out of the movie