Chapter 3: Big Theories of Intimate Relationships | Intimate Relationships: W. W. Norton StudySpace
Quizlet flashcards, activities and games help you improve your grades. Evaluate relationships in terms of rewards and costs Comparison levels come from past relationship experiences, what we are told Some argue that this really is not a theory that we can predict, and then test those predictions; rewards and costs. Discuss social exchange theory. We can begin to classify key relationships we have by distinguishing between our personal Intensifying, “I feel like we've gotten a lot closer over the past couple months.” I can deal with it. .. As noted earlier, we all become aware of the balance of costs and rewards at some point in our. An interpersonal relationship is a strong, deep, or close association or acquaintance between They may be regulated by law, custom, or mutual agreement, and are the . This theory is based on the idea that relationships develop as a result of In the best-case scenario, rewards will exceed costs, producing a net gain.
The comparison level is influenced by past relationships, and general relationship expectations they are taught by family and friends. Individuals in long-distance relationshipsLDRs, rated their relationships as more satisfying than individuals in proximal relationship, PRs. LDR couples reported the same level of relationship satisfaction as couples in PRs, despite only seeing each other on average once every 23 days. Therefore, the costs and benefits of the relationship are subjective to the individual, and people in LDRs tend to report lower costs and higher rewards in their relationship compared to PRs.
Background[ edit ] While traditional psychologists specializing in close relationships have focused on relationship dysfunction, positive psychology argues that relationship health is not merely the absence of relationship dysfunction. Additionally, healthy relationships can be made to "flourish. A social skills approach posits that individuals differ in their degree of communication skill, which has implications for their relationships.
Relationships in which partners possess and enact relevant communication skills are more satisfying and stable than relationships in which partners lack appropriate communication skills. Adult attachment models represent an internal set of expectations and preferences regarding relationship intimacy that guide behavior. Within the context of safe, secure attachments, people can pursue optimal human functioning and flourishing.
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Secure individuals are comfortable with intimacy and interdependence and are usually optimistic and social in everyday life. Securely attached individuals usually use their partners for emotion regulation so they prefer to have their partners in close proximity.
Preoccupied people are normally uneasy and vigilant towards any threat to the relationship and tend to be needy and jealous.
Dismissing individuals are low on anxiety over abandonment and high in avoidance of intimacy. Dismissing people are usually self-reliant and uninterested in intimacy and are independent and indifferent towards acquiring romantic partners. They are very fearful of rejection, mistrustful of others, and tend to be suspicious and shy in everyday life. Attachment styles are created during childhood but can adapt and evolve to become a different attachment style based on individual experiences.
On the contrary, a good romantic relationship can take a person from an avoidant attachment style to more of a secure attachment style. Romantic love The capacity for love gives depth to human relationships, brings people closer to each other physically and emotionally, and makes people think expansively about themselves and the world.
Foundations of Relationships
Attraction — Premeditated or automatic, attraction can occur between acquaintances, coworkers, lovers, etc. Studies have shown that attraction can be susceptible to influence based on context and externally induced arousal, with the caveat that participants be unaware of the source of their arousal.
A study by Cantor, J. As supported by a series of studies, Zillman and colleagues showed that a preexisting state of arousal can heighten reactions to affective stimuli. One commonly studied factor is physical proximity also known as propinquity. The MIT Westgate studies famously showed that greater physical proximity between incoming students in a university residential hall led to greater relationship initiation. Another important factor in the initiation of new relationships is similarity.
Put simply, individuals tend to be attracted to and start new relationships with those who are similar to them. These similarities can include beliefs, rules, interests, culture, education, etc. Individuals seek relationships with like others because like others are most likely to validate shared beliefs and perspectives, thus facilitating interactions that are positive, rewarding and without conflict.
Development — Development of interpersonal relationships can be further split into committed versus non-committed romantic relationships, which have different behavioral characteristics. More committed relationships by both genders were characterized by greater resource display, appearance enhancement, love and care, and verbal signs of possession. In contrast, less committed relationships by both genders were characterized by greater jealousy induction.
In terms of gender differences, men used greater resource display than women, who used more appearance enhancement as a mate-retention strategy than men. Some important qualities of strong, enduring relationships include emotional understanding and effective communication between partners.
Idealization of one's partner is linked to stronger interpersonal bonds. Idealization is the pattern of overestimating a romantic partner's positive virtues or underestimating a partner's negative faults in comparison to the partner's own self-evaluation.
In general, individuals who idealize their romantic partners tend to report higher levels of relationship satisfaction. The presence of all three components characterizes consummate lovethe most durable type of love. In addition, the presence of intimacy and passion in marital relationships predicts marital satisfaction.
Also, commitment is the best predictor of relationship satisfaction, especially in long-term relationships. Positive consequences of being in love include increased self-esteem and self-efficacy.
The emotion of love comes from the anticipation of pleasure. Particular duties arise from each person's particular situation in relation to others. The individual stands simultaneously in several different relationships with different people: Juniors are considered in Confucianism to owe their seniors reverence and seniors have duties of benevolence and concern toward juniors. A focus on mutuality is prevalent in East Asian cultures to this day. Minding relationships[ edit ] The mindfulness theory of relationships shows how closeness in relationships may be enhanced.
Minding is the "reciprocal knowing process involving the nonstop, interrelated thoughts, feelings, and behaviors of persons in a relationship. Small talk can be annoying sometimes, especially if you feel like you have to do it out of politeness. I have found, for example, that strangers sometimes feel the need to talk to me at the gym even when I have ear buds in.
Intensifying As we enter the intensifying stage Relational interaction stage where people indicate that they would like or are open to more intimacy, closeness, or interdependence.
This incremental intensification of intimacy can occur over a period of weeks, months, or years and may involve inviting a new friend to join you at a party, then to your place for dinner, then to go on vacation with you. In order to save face and avoid making ourselves overly vulnerable, steady progression is key in this stage.
Aside from sharing more intense personal time, requests for and granting favors may also play into intensification of a relationship. For example, one friend helping the other prepare for a big party on their birthday can increase closeness. However, if one person asks for too many favors or fails to reciprocate favors granted, then the relationship can become unbalanced, which could result in a transition to another stage, such as differentiating. Successfully managing this increasing closeness can lead to relational integration.
Even though this stage is most evident in romantic relationships, there are elements that appear in other relationship forms. Some verbal and nonverbal signals of the integrating stage are when the social networks of two people merge; those outside the relationship begin to refer to or treat the relational partners as if they were one person e.
Even as two people integrate, they likely maintain some sense of self by spending time with friends and family separately, which helps balance their needs for independence and connection. Bonding The bonding stage Relational interaction stage that includes a public ritual that announces a formal commitment. These types of rituals include weddings, commitment ceremonies, and civil unions.
Obviously, this stage is almost exclusively applicable to romantic couples. In some ways, the bonding ritual is arbitrary, in that it can occur at any stage in a relationship.
However, bonding warrants its own stage because the symbolic act of bonding can have very real effects on how two people communicate about and perceive their relationship. For example, the formality of the bond may lead the couple and those in their social network to more diligently maintain the relationship if conflict or stress threatens it. The bonding stage eventually leads to the terminating stage for many relationships, as about 50 percent of marriages in the United States end in divorce.
Differentiating is the reverse of integrating, as we and our reverts back to I and my.
Big Theories of Intimate Relationships
People may try to reboundary some of their life prior to the integrating of the current relationship, including other relationships or possessions. Circumscribing To circumscribe means to draw a line around something or put a boundary around it. Oxford English Dictionary Online, accessed September 13,http: So in the circumscribing stage Relational interaction stage where communication decreases and certain areas or subjects become restricted as individuals verbally close themselves off from each other.
Passive-aggressive behavior and the demand-withdrawal conflict pattern, which we discussed in Chapter 6 "Interpersonal Communication Processes"may occur more frequently in this stage. Once the increase in boundaries and decrease in communication becomes a pattern, the relationship further deteriorates toward stagnation.
Stagnating During the stagnating stage Relational interaction stage where the relationship may come to a standstill, as individuals wait for the relationship to end.
Outward communication may be avoided, but internal communication may be frequent.
Avoiding Moving to the avoiding stage Relational interaction stage where people signal that they want to close down the lines of communication. In a parent-child relationship, where the child is still dependent on the parent, or in a roommate situation, where a lease agreement prevents leaving, people may engage in cognitive dissociation, which means they mentally shut down and ignore the other person even though they are still physically copresent. Terminating The terminating stage Relational interaction stage where a relationship ends.
Termination can result from outside circumstances such as geographic separation or internal factors such as changing values or personalities that lead to a weakening of the bond. Termination exchanges involve some typical communicative elements and may begin with a summary message that recaps the relationship and provides a reason for the termination e.
The summary message may be followed by a distance message that further communicates the relational drift that has occurred e. You can use this time to explore your options and figure out if you want to go to college too or not. Finally, there is often a message regarding the possibility for future communication in the relationship e.Tony Robbins: Ways to Reinvent Yourself ( Tony Robbins Motivation )
Pearson,46— These ten stages of relational development provide insight into the complicated processes that affect relational formation and deterioration.
We also make decisions about our relationships by weighing costs and rewards. Social Exchange Theory Social exchange theory Theory that states we weigh the costs and rewards in our relationships. Vangelisti and Daniel Perlman Cambridge: Cambridge University Press,38— Rewards are outcomes that we get from a relationship that benefit us in some way, while costs range from granting favors to providing emotional support.