Seinfeld Scripts - The Stock Tip
Seinfeld fan theories abound when it comes to things like on-screen relationships , but the relationships off-screen could be just as tumultuous and dramatic at. Aug 8, When using pop culture as a reference for relationships, people may assume that Seinfeld is a poor choice. After all, the foursome used nearly. Jerome "Jerry" Seinfeld is the main protagonist and title character of the American television sitcom Seinfeld.
Remember When 39-Year-Old Jerry Seinfeld Dated a 17-Year-Old?
I think the only reason we go to the dry cleaner is so I can say to the dry cleaner, "Well, it's ruined. We just ruin the clothes. That ends our legal obligation. They're cleaning our clothes - but they're not getting anything wet. I know there's gotta be some liquids back there, some fluids that they're using. There's no such thing as dry cleaning.
When you get something on your shirt, ever get something on your shirt and try to get it off like that brushes shirt - that's dry cleaning. I don't think that's what they're doing back there. They don't have eighty guys going with imaginary brush "Come on, hurry up! There's a lot of shirts today. What evidence is there that cats are so smart, anyway? What do they do? My Uncle Pete showers four times a day and he can't count to ten. So don't give me hygiene.
So what are you gonna do? I can't think of any solution, unless of course they should meet with some unfortunate accident. What do you think a hit man would charge to rub out a couple of cats? Well, it couldn't be too expensive. Thirteen, fourteen bucks a cat? What do you think, Jerry? You wanna make twenty-eight bucks? I'm no cat killer. How about we go over there right now and we shave them?
I'd really like to go, Elaine. But, George is coming back from the hospital. I gotta wait for him. But otherwise I would definitely go. He actually wen to the hospital? Oh man, he's nuts. You wanta bump off a couple of cats.
Enter Kramer, holding a paper I know, I know. How much are you down altogether?Jerry proposes to Elaine (Jerry pede Elaine em casamento) - Legendado
You don't have to say "Wow. Well, what is that? Presses button to let George in. Oh, look at this one by the bus stop. Take a look at this.
I really don't need to look. Yeah, and you're just what she's looking for too - a stranger leering through a pair of binoculars ten floors up. I'm gonna go down there and try and talk to her. Did you go down there?
George nods Did he tell you what's gonna happen? George shakes his head "no".
Remember When Year-Old Jerry Seinfeld Dated a Year-Old?
How long were you there? You told him you knew Simons? Yeah, I mentioned Simons. Next thing I know - I'm in the parking lot.
Perhaps they had some sort of a falling out. I'll tell you one thing. I don't know what he's got. But for a sick guy, he's very strong. Look, I'm going to Vermont. I don't want to think about this. Well, what are you gonna do about the stock? I'm going down with the ship. So I know this guy. I'm getting all my sneakers at a discount now.
To himself Oh God. Get me out of here. What made me think this would work? And I've still got another day! I've got nothing left to say. To Vanessa That's a nice watch. Do you wind it? No, it's got a little battery. To himself Well, the drive home should be a delight. I'm speeding the whole way. Let them throw me in jail. To Vanessa That' the manager? Do you wnat me to see if we can get another room? So, I guess you don't find the separate faucets for the hot and cold - charming?
Well, what do you wnat to do this afternoon? What can we do? We cold play "Sorry! To Vanessa What kind of perfume is that you're wearing? Oh, you've never heard of it.
What kind is it? I can't tell you. To himself Yeah, that's normal.
The backstage drama that nearly brought down ‘Seinfeld’
Out loud, to a man nearby Excuse me, Sir. Could I have a look at that business section? I thought you got out of that? It's been almost a week. I want to check it out. It's up six points! I told you not to sell. In " The Betrayal ", Jerry mentions that he once beat George up in the fourth grade. Flashbacks in episodes such as " The Library " portray Jerry and George in high school. A pizza place which they frequented is portrayed in " The Frogger ".
Jerry and George attended school together at Edward R. Murrow Middle SchoolJohn F. Kennedy High School and Queens College. He eventually quit the job in order to focus more on his comedy career. Unlike George, who usually can't stand his parents, Jerry gets along reasonably well with his parents, but he still prefers they live in Florida rather than New York, so that they do not interfere with his private life. Although born and raised Jewish and he considers himself a Jew, Jerry apparently does not practice and generally does not observe many traditions.
In " The Bris ", he implies he is circumcised, repeatedly asking people if they have "ever seen one" - in reference to an uncircumcised penis. He also mentions having a sister in the episode " The Chinese Restaurant ", though she is never named, never appears on screen, and is never mentioned again after this episode.
In order to avoid his old friend Joel in " Male Unbonding ", Jerry pretends to have promised to tutor his nephew; it is unclear if the nephew really exists or is simply fabricated as part of the excuse. Jerry has an eccentric uncle, Leowho appears in 15 episodes.
Uncle Leo has a son, Cousin Jeffrey, who works for the parks department, about whom he constantly talks, but who never appears. Manya is described as a Polish immigrant. In the same episode, Jerry references having an "Aunt Rose", and Helen mentions a family member named "Claire" who is getting married.
Jerry's maternal grandmother, Nana, is an elderly woman with memory problems, occasionally unable to tell the past from the present, living alone in the city. Relationships[ edit ] Jerry is notorious for his detached approach towards relationships and for breaking up with women for the slightest of flaws or for the most minor of reasons.
According to the ninth-season DVD release of the series, Jerry has had 73 different girlfriends seen or alluded to over the course of the series. Elaine[ edit ] Jerry and Elaine are depicted as having dated in the past and apparently a lot longer than they each date other people in the series.
During the run of the show, they are shown mainly as best friends, sometimes even joking with one another about their failed dating relationship. However, they do date briefly during the run of the show. In " The Deal ", they create a set of rules whereby they can sleep together but remain only friends.
However, their theory is ruined when Elaine gets upset at Jerry for wanting to leave after a sexual encounter instead of sleeping over one of the rules they discussed was that sleeping over was optional, but not whose option it was. By the end of the episode the two decide to be a couple again.
Later in " The Pen " Jerry tells his parents that "we decided that we don't work out as a couple. In " The Mango ", Jerry is upset at learning that Elaine had faked her orgasms while they were together. The fact cause such problems between the two, that Elaine agrees to sleep with Jerry in an effort to "save the friendship". The final scene, however, shows the two in bed, with Jerry looking distraught and gesturing towards his groin, suggesting that he was unable to perform.
There are hints throughout the series that suggest that Jerry and Elaine still have feelings for each other: In " The Stake Out ", Elaine becomes jealous when Jerry flirts with another woman, Vanessa, at a party that Jerry is accompanying her to. In " The Tape " when Jerry listens to an erotic message on his tape recorder, he becomes obsessed with finding who's the person on the tape; eventually, he pushes George into revealing that it's Elaine and it was supposed to be a joke.
In " The Junior Mint ", Elaine asks Jerry to accompany her to the hospital as her boyfriend, Roy, to fool one of her ex's. Jerry smiles and responds "Well, I believe I've played that role before to some critical acclaim. In " The Cadillac " after Jerry buys his parents a Cadillac and Elaine realizes how much money he has, she becomes very flirtatious towards him.
In " The Abstinence " when Elaine is denying sex to her current boyfriend, Ben, in the hope that it will help him pass his medical licensing exam, she begs Jerry to have sex with her, but, after a brief moment of consideration, he turns her down. In " The Serenity Now " when Jerry's emotions come flooding out after being locked up inside him, he confesses his love for Elaine and proposes to her.
Later, the horrifying tale of George's life frightens him back into his formerly cold demeanor and he takes back his proposal, much to Elaine's dismay since she was willing to get married even though she was initially hesitant. In " The Finale ", when their plane appears to be crashing, Elaine begins saying to Jerry "I've always loved Later on, she claims that she intended to say "I've always loved United Airlines.
They break up because of an uncomfortable weekend trip to Vermont. These relationships are atypical in that both women break up with Jerry for reasons of disgust, rather than it being the other way around. He dates Dolores whose name he forgets, guessing it to be Mulva, having the clue that it rhymes with a part of the female anatomy in " The Junior Mint " and " The Foundation ".
Season 4 then Season 8. This was the only time he dated a woman in two non-consecutive episodes. He dated Rachel in the following episodes: Rachel ends the relationship, but Jerry, who was "even steven" at the time, didn't become upset, and was confident that he would find another girlfriend. Engagements[ edit ] Only twice in the series has Jerry considered marriage.
The first time was with his "perfect" girlfriend, Jeannie, in the Season 7 finale, " The Invitations ", but he soon learned that he didn't want to be with someone exactly like himself.