When Your Partner Stops Giving: The Silent Pain of Emotional Withholding - The Good Men Project
Here's the thing, there are a lot things you could unconsciously be refusing to provide to your partner that is slowly killing your relationship. We have all been in relationships where we have withheld things from our delivering false information or the omission of critical information. The truth is, caring, compassion, communication, connection, warmth, Withholding these within a relationship is abuse, a kind of emotional.
You will not be the first person to hold him back from following his dreams, you will help him achieve it. Be there when he needs someone to cheer him up and not put him down even more.
It will be heavy, but worth it.
Trust Trust is always a problem in every relationship, but you cannot use that as an excuse for having trust issues. You gave him your heart, let him prove to you that he deserves it, and vice versa.
How Withholding Can Lead to Divorce
Trust is very hard to earn, especially when it has been lost. So travel as much as you need. Walk in the rain and dance in the dark.
Do whatever it is that makes both of you happy. Also, intimacy is a major component of every relationship. Being able to touch someone you love and knowing each and every part of their body is like knowing what their favorite food is. Affection If you cannot show love and care to your partner, then why are you staying?
Why would you hold them back from looking for it somewhere else?
Denying sex- "Honey I have a headache" territory, well chances are this is game play, power struggle to prove a point or get your way, as a spouse or partner, neither of you should ever be denying each other sex. Sex is a normal and enjoyable part of marriage and when you deny this to the other, you are withholding yourself but you are running the risk of driving the sexually unsatisfied partner into the arms of another. If you are grumpy I personally think sex is a great way to relieve stress, feel connected and forgive your spouse for whatever it was that lead the "fake headache"!
Denying information-this is a tricky area of denying because it can touch all zones, not sharing information on financial matters, places you go, friends you spent time with, basically anytime you withhold information from your spouse this will break down trust and when they find out cause a deep emotional divide, your spouse is supposed to be your best friend so if you feel the urge or need to hide anything, you are doing damage to your marriage and run the risk of this ultimately causing its demise.
Denying affection- Maybe your spouse loves to hold hands and you don't or they want to snuggle on the sofa and you prefer to only have human contact sexually, this a recipe for disaster in a marriage, I speak to women and men who actually cheat on their spouses because they crave the affection the touch not even the sex.
What is Withholding? | So Far Away
When denied affection your partner or spouse naturally feels, rejection, feels unlovable on a certain level. You have to learn to compromise in this area, find a happy medium, where both your needs are being met. Denying communication-by FAR in my opinion the worse of all the emotionally abusive tactics, when you refuse to communicate, and give the other person the silent treatment, you are showing and expressing to them you feel they are totally not worthy of you, as a person, as a spouse or as a friend.
It's like saying through your actions to someone, I find you so unworthy of my time that you aren't even worth talking to or answering or interacting with. What could be worse? This is a relationship killer, without communication, you really have nothing. If your emotional needs aren't being heard non less met, how can you ever grow as a couple, or stay in a marriage, communication is key to all of life.
Imagine saying something three, four, even five times to your partner and receiving no response. Or maybe, you get a grunt. Your accomplishments go unrecognized, your contributions unmentioned, your presence at best grudgingly acknowledged, and any effort at bridging the chasm is spurned.Why Avoidant and Anxious Partners Find It Hard to Split Up
The rope you throw over the crevasse lashes back at you, whipping in the winter wind. Death enters your consciousness as an option. Death begins to feel like a viable alternative, a way to achieve relief from the unbearable pain.
If you just give up your silly notion of having a healthy, communicative relationship … and resubmit to emotional domination and abuse … the love will return.
When Your Partner Stops Giving: The Silent Pain of Emotional Withholding
Emotional withholding is typically a response to your trying to stand up for yourself, to an assertion of your rights within the relationship. The truth is, caring, compassion, communication, connection, warmth, and love should NEVER be conditional and NEVER be willfully withheld, EVER, unless the relationship is already over and you need to draw a boundary to establish your new life and preserve your own sanity.
But the harder you work towards creating a healthy relationship, the more your dysfunctional partner will withhold the very things on which the health of the relationship depends.